"When Conventional 'Shippers Go Bad: Or, The Evils of the One True 'Ship"
 

So Donna wants to rant about 'shipperness.  Actually,
she wants me to rant in her stead. [Ed. note: mainly
because *my* rant would have been a tad less articulate, what
with all the cusswords] Her main concern is C/A 'shippers, 
who, apparently, disapprove of her penchant for C/A darkfic. 
How dare she ruin the pairing by suggesting it's not all sunshine and roses? 
How *dare* she?  But since I already promised a "never
accept Kool-Aid when offered by a B/A 'shipper" rant, I
figure I can combine the two and rant about 'shipperness and 
genre in general. 

Because... supporters of a certain pairing don't annoy
me.  They really don't.  Some pairings I just don't
get, but chacun a son gout and all that.  But... it's this way
of thinking that seems to exist outside our little
clique of darkfic and angstfic writers, which I really didn't
come into contact with before this season.  The idea
that "'shipper" means "wanna see them skipping down the
street holding hands."  And I think it's a pertinent
issue, because a lot of people seem to be bitching about the
darkness of this season, which is the very reason I
think s6 is so fucking great.  It's this problem of watching
the show through rose-tinted glasses.

Warning: you guys should know by now how I feel about
psycho 'shipperness in general and B/A in particular. 

You also know how I feel about unmitigated fluff.  If
you're gonna get offended, you might as well go away
now. 

I hate to make generalizations, but it's just that I
haven't seen anyone else bitch and moan about Joss
breaking their widdle hearts like the B/A 'shippers.  (When I
say "B/A 'shipper," I'm speaking of a *certain
variety* of B/A 'shipper.  You know of which I speak; rational
supporters of the pairing need not apply.  ::blows
kisses to Crissybaby and Tinkerbunny::)  And now the C/A fluff
people are accusing C/A darkfic writers of trying to 
invalidate the entire 'ship by making it less
happy-go-lucky than it is in their addled little
minds.  So it makes me wonder... why are some fans unable to accept the
endless possibilities for 'ships, and the
interpretations of those 'ships, in the Jossverse?  Why do they pick one
pairing and hang on to it with all their might, and
fly into fits of pique if anyone dares suggest that the relationship is
not the Funland Circus they imagine it to be?  How are

questions of pairing and genre related in fanfiction? 
Why do so many fans believe that conventional
'shipperdom and fluffy interpretations of the text are the only
valid opinions?  What kind of crack, in particular, is
being smoked here?

The thing that strikes me about extreme B/A 'shippers
is the remarkable hubris on their parts, this
sociopathic assurance that the world owes them the happy ending
they crave and that Joss should rewrite his entire
canon to accomodate their desires.  Because Buffy and Angel
were in luuuuuuuuuuuuuv, they say, instantly
dismissing S/B and B/R and C/A and everything else on the grounds
that they could *never* possibly find love again. 
Buffy and Angel are a Great Love Story of Our Times.  Buffy and
Angel, what with the biting and the death and the
going all evil after sex, stand as an inspiration for us all,
and seeing them apart just makes us question whether
love really exists in the world at all.  ::dramatic sob::

Tell me, is it pretty in your world?  Is there cotton
candy *every fucking day?*

Is B/A a great love story for our times?  Quite
possibly so, just like the stories of Romeo and
Juliet, Antony and Cleopatra, Quasimodo and Esmerelda, Heathcliff and
Catherine.  All of which ended, incidentally, in death
and horror.  (The only difference is that Buffy and Angel,
with four deaths between the two of them, don't have
the sense to stay in the ground.)  In case you haven't
noticed, Great Love Stories are usually about a bunch
of overemotional fuckheads who don't know how to make
choices that serve in their own best interest because 
they're so wrapped up in Twuu Wuv.  In fact- and I
speak in the pairing's defense here- Buffy and Angel
is a great *human* story of our times, a story of people whose
lives were temporarily sabotaged by melodrama and high
sweeping passion, but who eventually tried their
damnedest since to grow up and get over it and be
apart because it was the best thing for themselves and the
other person.

I'm sorry, I don't get it.  I just really don't.  And
maybe it's because I didn't start watching the show
until the fourth season and therefore never got a chance to get
caught up in the madness of the pairing.  I can even
see the sweetness and angst in its context... for a while,
anyway.  For the first two seasons.  But after Angel
comes back from Hell... I cringe when I see them on screen
together.  I mean, he ruined her life, and then she
took his. There's no getting past that, and the only reason they
don't see it is because she's a child and he has the 
emotional maturity of one.  It's over at that point,
it's so over, and it takes them so fucking long to
figure it out.

Do I sound cynical?  I don't deny the validity of
love.  I'm just saying that, if after a night of great
sex, William gets out of bed and lights a cigarette...

Wait, no, that's always the first thing he does.

Okay, if William gets out of bed and starts
threatening to kill off all my friends...

...well, he does that pretty often too, actually.

Okay, if William starts *actually* killing off all my
friends, I wouldn't think twice about killing him, and
if he came back from the dead unexpectedly, I think I'd have
serious reservations about taking him back, no matter
how nicely he promised not to kill my friends anymore. 
(If he went all evil and started killing off my
professors, now, maybe something could be worked out.)  The idea that
Buffy should pursue a relationship with Angel after
all the shit he's put her through is horrifying and not a
little misogynistic.

Love does not necessarily last forever.  A lot of
people *thought* that love lasted forever until about
forty years ago, and then one in every two couples divorced and
that blew *that* theory out of the water, but still
the myth persists, which is why we have a world full of Bridget
Joneses searching desperately for anyone with a Y 
chromosome to validate their existence.  All those of
you who found lifelong happiness with the perfect
partner at the age of seventeen, raise your hand.  The characters
on the show are human (or behave in human-like ways) 
and flawed and therefore their relationships are not
immune to difficulty and will, in all probability,
end.  (In this universe in particular, you *cannot* honestly expect
that Joss will let things end well.  I mean, it's like
trying to wish away that pesky law of gravity.)  Just because
these two characters were happy together does not 
necessarily mean they will stay that way.  Just
because you like to see the two of them together does
not mean you will necessarily get that.  The writers of the
show do not have to answer your feeble, petty demands.
*They do not owe you anything.*

Although more pervasive in the case of B/A
'shipperdom, this kind of thinking seems to apply to
many 'ships, conventional ones in particular.  Donna commented that
she had never witnessed this phenomenon until her urge

to see Angel "get laid with someone, anyone, dammit"
led her into the world of hetfic.  I myself have seen
it this season, where suddenly I'm coming into contact with
all these fluffy-Spuffys who, instead of celebrating
the fact that they finally got the pairing they wanted, do
nothing but bitch about the emotional abuse and the
violence and the awful, icky, non-missionary position sex, as
if it's somehow the biggest character assassination in

television history.  (Because, you know, Spike is the
kind of guy to take Buffy to a nice restaurant and buy
her flowers and never, never kiss on the first date.  Sure
he is.)

Slashers- the non-delusional ones, at least- know
they're living in a fantasy world.  They realize that
they're never gonna see Spike and Xander, or Wesley and Gunn,
or Cordelia and Willow get it on.  They take what they

can get- subtext and fic- and are happy with it. 
(I've heard that this isn't the case in the Smallville
fandom, where many fans, it seems, have become convinced that
they're really gonna see Superman fuck that bald kid. 

Then again, to hear Smallville fans talk about subtext
on that show, apparently Superman and the bald kid
have done everything but actually fuck.)

Some, therefore, consider this a slash vs. het
problem.  But it's been my experience that many
supporters of unconventional 'het 'ships- especially the very
unconventional ones like Spike/Tara, Buffy/Wesley, or 
Giles/Cordelia, or whatever- don't go around expecting
to see their fantasies come to fruitition on screen. 
But fans who have seen their 'ship onscreen, or who stand
a good chance of seeing it onscreen in the near
future, often stop behaving as if this 'ship is something
that's desired and start behaving as if it's something
that's owed. And that's more than illogical, it's a little bit
delusional.

The fact is, not all 'ships are justifiable, even ones
that have been justifiable in the past.  All 'ships
are not necessarily created equal- which is fine, as long as
you *acknowledge* this.  I don't go around bashing
other people's pairing preferences.  If you going around
saying that Buffy and Doyle are soulmates, I'll
probably roll my eyes and snark about you to my friends, but chances
are I won't call you a moron to your face.  'Shipping
is a deeply personal way of relating to characters, because
it often reflects one's own personal feelings or
fantasies towards relationships.  And yes, sometimes you might
find yourself supporting a certain 'ship with no
better reason than "Christ, wouldn't that be *hot?*"  (Says the
writer of Angel/Spike/Wesley fic.)  That's fine, but
you need to understand that you are possibly not being guided by
logic- that your interpretation of the text might not
be a valid one.  (That's what drives me crazy about people
who instantly dismiss slash.  Xander, for instance,
can't possibly want to sleep with Angel, even though he has
expressed sexual attraction towards every male he's
ever come in contact with on the show, Angel in particular,
because Xander has never actually said the words "I'm 
gay."  Willow, on the other hand, *clearly* wants to
sleep with Angel.  Why?  Uh... 'cause... he's a guy,
and she's a girl and wouldn't they be sooooooo cute together? 
Lesbian?  No, Willow's not a lesbian!  That's just...
icky!) The point is that, from an intellectual, critical
standpoint- a reading of the text- some 'ships are
clearly justifiable, some are clearly not, and some, much like the
Hamlet/Ophelia or Othello/Iago questions I come across
in my graduate studies every day, will be debated until the
end of time.

But this is complicated, of course, by what one
actually means when they claim to be a supporter of a
particular 'ship.  There are, in fact, different kinds of
'shipping.  The traditional sense is the One True Love
Meant to Be Together for All Time, which I find terribly
uninteresting, not to mention unrealistic.  But, in
fandom, there are romantic 'ships, erotic 'ships, violent 'ships,
co-dependent 'ships, hurt/comfort 'ships. 
Consequently, "'shipper" does not necessarily mean "fluff fan"- different
'ships can be justified to be interpreted in the
context of different genres.  (This is why so few people seem to understand
how I feel about Spike/Buffy- the only options they 
acknowledge are a) no relationship of any kind or b)
Spike and Buffy skipping down the street holding
hands.)  In the generally accepted sense of the word- One True
Love Meant to Be Together for All Time- I guess I'm
not an anything 'shipper.  Which I resent, because I consider
myself a supporter of several different pairings- I
just don't entertain any delusions that they're gonna end up
happily ever after.

I love Willow/Tara, which, as Donna has pointed out,
is the show's closest resemblance to true fluff.  But,
while seeing them onscreen together again sends me into fits
of glee, Tara was perfectly justified in breaking up
with Willow.  And, since I don't really think Willow's as
"cured" as they'd have us believe, I'm in no hurry to
see them back together.  It won't do either one of them any
good.

I resisted Spike/Buffy for a very long time, mostly
because my only experience of the pairing had been the

preposterous, badly characterized Spuffy badfic
nightmares that seem to make up the bulk of
Spike/Buffy fanfiction.  But I love the dark, sexy, utterly
believable way the show portrayed the pairing.  It was
not, however, a relationship, and I'd like to see Buffy get over her
post-post-mortem neuroses, and see Spike grow a pair,
even more than I'd like to see yummy naked Spike every
week.  It was sure fun while it lasted- but I'm glad
they broke up and I hope they stay broken up.

I love Spike/Angel.  The passion, the hate, the
unbreakable bond of history.  But seriously, people. 
Not only are we never gonna see those homoerotic smoochies, but if
we did, we know it'd be disaster on toast.  Think 
"Smashed" to the tenth power: hot as all hell, but
psychologically scarring for anyone within a
hundred-mile radius.  The kind of "emotional healing through
physical connection and familial bond" stuff that I
wrote in To Take You In, while (I think) valid at the time that I wrote
it, simply wouldn't work anymore.  Both of them have
been broken a few times too many in the three years since
that fic was set.

And, finally, I am a die-hard Spike/Dru 'shipper.  I
absolutely adored them together, and in some odd, 
blood-spattered ways, theirs was actually the
fluffiest 'ship we've seen on the show to date- I
mean, talk about affection and devotion.  And I must admit I have some
residual resentment at Joss for breaking them up, and
part of me will always hope that Dru's about to swoop into
Sunnydale and sweep her little Spike away.  I am very 
nearly the typical 'shipper.

Except... the Spike/Dru relationship really wasn't any
healthier than Spike/Buffy.  Granted, I don't think
Dru realized that she was using Spike, and I don't think
he realized he was being used.  And there were
probably a lot of really good times in those hundred and eighteen
years.  But there was also jealousy, resentment,
insecurity, and difficulty- a relationship based on Spike's
redefinition of himself as Dru's consort and
caretaker.  On some level, I think he always understood that he was
simply, as Donna so beautifully put it, taking care of
Angelus' property until he came back for it.  And the deceptive
happiness of their relationship made their breakup all
the more devestating- by that point, Spike didn't really
have a defined personality outside of "Drusilla's
lover."  Is he better off out of that relationship?  Probably.  But
Spike is the eternal lapdog, and he's simply traded
one master for another.  That's the biggest problem with his
character: he hasn't matured enough to the point that
he's interesting on his own, without someone on whom to
exert his romantic energies; but with someone, he
devotes himself to the point where he's destroyed himself and
exhausted and alienated everyone else.  Unlike other 
characters in the Jossverse, whose romantic mishaps
are the result of both their own bad choices and the 
statistical improbability of finding a lasting
relationship on the Hellmouth (I had to kill my evil
vampire boyfriend!  The love of my life had kinky werewolf sex!  My
girlfriend might eviscerate me if I piss her off!),
Spike would probably sabotage any relationship he could possibly
find himself in- he's either not emotionally present
at all (Harmony) or way too involved (Drusilla and Buffy).

So I suppose the difference between me and the
stereotypical 'shipper, then, is one of *reality*- as
much reality as one can have in the context of this unreal
universe, anyhow.  Because I accept the darker
elements of Jossverse relationships and see them as a beautiful
addition to the texture of the relationship, instead
of an impediment to Twuu Wuv.  If you truly believe that you
can't take interest in a particular pairing unless you
refuse to acknowledge the darker, characteristics of that
pairing, then you are not an intellectual viewer of
the show, and probably the writer of some very bad fanfic.

Of course, this leads to the eternal quiestion: are
those interpretations always necessarily the valid
ones?  Are more "uncomfortable" genres, like darkfic and
angstfic, superior to fluff?  Part of me wants to
scream yes, yes, yes, even though I know that's not a logical answer. 
However, I still find myself saying, after careful 
consideration: as a genre, no.  In this context, yes,
usually, sometimes.

Let's face it, there are no fluffy 'ships in the
Jossverse.  Unless you're writing pre-"Phases"
Willow/Oz, or season one Willow/Xander, you're talking about a relationship
that has at least some element of angst or horror-
this is Sunnydale, after all.  That being said, even the most
turbulent of relationships on the show has had its
fluffy oments (okay, well, the closest thing to a fluffy
moment in Buffy/Spike is when she complimented the rug
in his crypt).  Writing sweet fics about those happy moments
is perfectly viable.  But writing fic in which
Everything Is Okay is not accurate; nothing is ever 100% okay in the
Jossverse- there's *always* going to be that slightest
tinge of bittersweet.

And that's okay.  Anya loves Xander even though she
knows she'll never be the perfect, "human" girlfriend
he wants.  Giles loves Jenny even though their duties-
his to Buffy, hers to her family- keep fucking up
their relationship.  Willow loves Oz even though he could
rip her to shreds once a month.  Tara loves Willow
even though she's not quite sure how to let herself be
loved back.  Spike loves Dru even though he knows he
will never truly possess her, and he loves Buffy even though it's
tearing him up inside.  Riley loves Buffy even though
he knows he'll never be what she needs.  Angel loves
Buffy even though they're doomed.  Actually, all the
couples I just mentioned turned out to be doomed, so any fluffy
interpretation of the text should instantly fall under
uspicion.  Now, I've read fluff, and loved it-
Spike/Angel fic, oddly enough, features some of the
fluffiest stuff you'll ever see.  Hell, I've written it, albeit always
with some violent or angsty edge.  It's nice.  It's a
relief.  It's brain candy, but you need to recognize it as such.  If
you're watching the show through fluff-tinted goggles,
ou're not really watching the show.

And, statistically speaking, darkfic often turns out
to be much better.  This is a phenomenon I noticed
with slash back when I started reading my first fic- the slash
was hot, yeah, but even more significant, the slash
was good. It was simply better-written than the hetfic I came in
contact with (I think there are an equal number of
good fics in both genres, but there's so *much* hetfic out there
you really have to search for it).  I reached the
conclusion that only the writers with balls enough to tackle
slash pairings wrote the fic, and therefore it was of
superior quality- you didn't chance it unless you knew what you
were doing.  The beautiful irony is that for the most
part, marginalized genres are better-written genres, because
they are sought out by writers who are up to the 
challenge.  In the two years since I joined the
fandom, slash has become a lot more popular and
accepted- and the quality has gone downhill.  I think the case is
the same with darkfic.  Darkfic and angstfic are *not*
easy to write.  They take a lot out of both the reader and the
writer, elicit a very real, primal, gut response.  Why
is happiness, well, happy?  Because it's simple. 
Uncomplicated.  Darkfic and angstfic, by their very
natures, are fics about complication, and therefore more challenging to
write.  (And of course not *all* such fics are
well-written- when they become uncomplicated, reduced to their
formulas, they are often absurd.  Angel eviscerating
Buffy for no good reason, or Xander weeping on Spike's shoulder,
is just ridiculous.  And, again, the more accepted
darkfic and angstfic become, the worse they seem to get.) 

But if Sunnydale isn't enough of a utopia for you,
there are other shows.  If art-as-wish fulfillment
isn't working out for you, feel free to fuck off.  Go read a romance
novel or watch *Touched by an Angel,* and leave me in 
peace to watch these fascinating characters trip and
fall and pull themselves up again.  I'll watch Buffy
crawl her way out of the funk, slip back in, pull herself out
one more time.  I'll watch Willow and Tara get
together or not get back together.  I'll watch to see if Dawn ever
grows up, or if Wesley ever grows up.  I'll watch
Spike and Xander and Angel sabotage their relationships again
and again and *again.*  And when things work out, I'll
cheer for them.  And when things don't work out and Joss
takes us on a gut-wrenching thrill ride... well, hell,
I might cheer even louder. 
 

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(Who take full co-responsibility for the above. All intelligent replies, pro or con, will be posted. 
Ed. Note 3/29/02: REPLIES NOW UP HERE)